Parent Participation
WHY IT IS NECESSARY AND HOW TO GET IT.
A Home and Neighborhood Program
The Cub Scout program of the Boy Scouts of America stresses the relationship of the family to the Scouting program and importance of the family in the the development of the Cub Scout age boy. Cub Scouting gives families sets of age appropriate activities structured so that parents and other family members have considerable control of how the Cub Scout grows.
The Cub Scout program of the Boy Scouts of America is unique among the various Cub programs in the World Scouting movement. Our method is based on activities a boy could do around his own home or in his immediate neighborhood. While most other Cub organizations conducted a sort of “junior Boy Scout” program with a few leaders in each pack, the BSA opts for something quite different: fun stuff right near home with adult leaders for each den.
YOUR SON
WHO INFLUENCES HIM AS HE GROWS?
Boys up to the age of 9 are influenced by people in his home more than by any others. Parents or others there have had the greatest power in his life since he was born and he reacts mostly to them. The importance of peer pressure will typically not start to take over until around age 10, as he makes close friends, and it will grow through the early teens when the peers replace the parents as the main force in his life.
The influence of other adults: neighbors, teachers, leaders in Scouts, religion and sports will also start about age 10 and often will overshadow peer influence by the late teen years. As he grows, he reaches out to his community for acceptance and companions.
Parents and other close family members have a relatively narrow window of a few years to open the door to their boy's future - to shape his character, help set his life's goals and how he will react to his next set of influencers. These Tiger and Cub Scout years are the time for parents to spend as much time as they can with him, to lead him into positive activities, to get to know his friends and his friends' families. Cub Scouting gives parents a wonderful set of tools to do exactly these things.
The life of a six-to-ten year old is centered on his home. He is just learning how to form close friends and explore new places. He still looks to mom and dad for approval, support and advice. Typically, he doesn't start reaching out to other adults away from his home until the middle school years. Those Cub Scout years are recognized as an opportunity window for parents to exercise the greatest influence on their sons. Fathers who wait until their sons are in Boy Scouts to become involved are often rudely disappointed — by then, the boys are usually looking elsewhere for guidance and inspiration. Do it now in Cub Scouting!
DO YOU BOTH COMMUNICATE?
Much of Cub Scouting involves lots of short activities where a boy and his parents do things together. These activities: getting ready for a Tiger meeting, building a Pine Wood Derby Car, working on achievements and electives - automatically involve TALKING. They TALK, they listen to each other, they plan, they express their hopes, their concerns, and their jokes. They learn to respect each others moods and styles. They create special communication channels that remain vital and valuable for all their lives.
Each Tiger Track Bead and Arrow Point on his shirt is a sign that says "We spent hours doing neat things together!"
WHO IS HIS ROLE MODEL?
A Role Model is someone the boy sees as an image of his future acts in life. At Cub Scout age, this is a person he presently knows, someone he loves and admires - usually an adult or older sibling in his home. He will grow up with many of the traits - the ethics and the life goals - that he perceives in that role model.
Don't confuse role models with heroes such as the sports star, the great statesman or the military figure. These can become important beacons in a boy's growing up but rarely will he copy their day-to-day life styles. A role model tends to be the person he sees every day. The boy's talk, his walk, the way he thinks and the way he solves problems become images of how that person acts. That person, usually his parent, is the true role model.
Cub Scouting gives parents opportunities to show their sons examples of leadership and responsibility. It may be a leading a den or pack meeting, or organizing the Blue & Gold banquet or Fourth of July Parade or Friends of Scouting campaign, but every parent should take on a visible job in his Cub Scout pack where the Cub Scout can see his role model doing something important. Every Cub Scout deserves to see his parent be a hero.
THE PARENT AGREEMENT
When families join your pack, each parent should be introduced to the Parent's Agreement on the second page of the boy's Application to Join. Each leader should be familiar with this agreement and be prepared to help parents understand its implications and their responsibilities.
Parent Agreement
I have read the Cub Scout Promise and I want my son to join the pack. I will assist him in observing the policies of the Boy Scouts of America and of his pack's chartered organization. I will:
While he is a Tiger Cub, serve as his adult partner and participate in
all meetings and activities and approve his advancement.
While he is a Cub Scout, help him and approve his Cub Scout advancement.
While he is a Tiger Cub, Cub Scout or Webelos Scout, attend
monthly pack meetings and take part in other activities; assist pack leaders
as needed.
This is printed on the 2nd page of the boy's Application to Join the Pack.
Parents are required to sign the application signifying that they have read this and agree to it.
Being at Meetings
Younger Cub Scouts, and especially Tigers, are much more comfortable having a parent with them at meetings and activities. Pack meetings are where the boys get a chance to show off — where they are recognized for Doing Their Best, for living up to all those ideals in the Cub Scout Promise and Motto. It's important those adults who love him are there to share in this recognition and be part of the celebration.
One of the huge benefits of Cub Scouting is that parents are forced to meet and communicate with other neighborhood parents which puts you one good step ahead as your boy enters his teen years. You know and talk to his friends' parents.
Working in the Books
The achievements - 15 Tiger, 12 Wolf and 12 Bear - represent those things a growing boy should be doing as he learns to be a better citizen and a more responsible and capable human being. They give parents and others ample opportunities to observe and understand how this boy is growing up: what sort of adult he will be, what kind of husband, what type of father, and what quality of community member he will become. Informed parents and leaders can - and should - make the achievements fun experiences for the boys.
But there is a lot more to it. The electives automatically involve TALKING. The boy and his parent TALK, they listen to each other, they plan; they express their hopes, their concerns, and their jokes. They learn to respect each others moods, ideas and styles. They create special communication channels that remain vital and valuable for all their lives.
If you, as a leader, shut out the parents by doing a lot of Tiger and Cub Scout advancement at den meetings then you deny the parents the opportunity to establish these relationships with their sons.
Helping Leaders
Cub Scouting gives parents opportunities to show their sons examples of leadership and responsibility. It may be a leading a den or pack meeting, or organizing the Blue & Gold banquet or Fourth of July Parade or Friends of Scouting campaign, but every parent should take on a visible job in his Cub Scout pack where the Cub Scout can see his role model doing something important.
HOW TO INVOLVE PARENTS
It takes constant effort, patience and a sense of humor.
Getting parents involved is not an easy task for leaders to do. It takes planning, a total commitment of the pack leadership, and often an unbelievable amount of patience to pull it off. For some leaders, it will take a complete turn around in attitude. It's so easy to treat parents as uncooperative Philistines looking for baby sitting. Yes, parents are busy and have have all sorts of competing priorities but they also love their kids and want them to get the best out whatever they do. We have a great program of ethical education mixed with fun and adventure. It's our job as leaders to convince parents that Cub Scouting has wonderful tools for them to use with their Cub Scout sons.
When the Boy Joins
Ensure that every family is aware of the Parent's Agreement and understands their obligations when we accept their application to join. The longer we wait the harder it becomes to involve parents. Recruit the parent along with the boy.
Organization and Support.
One of the most important tasks a Cub Scout leader does is to convince other parents how important it is for them to get involved in their sons' Cub Scout program and how this helps their families and their boys' development. When they make that a priority and then start working at it, they have a good chance at success.
Being a good Cub Scout leader takes more than just running the meetings.
That's the easy part. Interacting with other adults - especially parents - is the essential job quality of Cub Scout leadership.
Each time we take on another job that could be done by a parent who is not performing as a role model for his/her son we are admitting that we have failed. Instead of sharing responsibility we have opted for the easy work around: do it ourselves instead of teaching others that it is better that they do it.
Worse, we have hurt two boys. We have hurt our own sons because the time it takes to do the second (or third and so on) job often comes from the time needed to fulfill our duties as Akela to our own sons, and also, we have deprived another boy the chance to see his parent be a hero - doing something important in his Cub pack.
Never, never do anything that you can possibly
get another parent to do.
WHY PARENTS MAY WANT TO BE LEADERS
Many parents attend their first Cub Scout meetings ready to be involved as leaders in their son's pack . All it takes is for us to find out why they want to, and then tie that reason to our invitation. Here are some of the important reasons why parents in your pack may want to be leaders:
LOVE -
- Most parents love their children and want to express their love in tangible ways. Getting involved with their son's Cub Scout program is a very special way of showing him how much they love him. CHILDHOOD MEMORIES-
- Many adults have fond recollections of their own good times with youth organizations like Scouting. They want their children to have similar opportunities and are willing to work to make it happen. AIMS AND IDEALS -
- We want our children to grow up to become good citizens with strong character traits and to be physically and mentally fit. Giving Good Will, Helping Other People, and Duty to God and Country, are important educational goals. STRENGTHEN THE FAMILY -
- The Cub Scout program is designed to strengthen communication and respect between family members. It is structured so that even the busiest of us with the most stressed family structures can take advantage of the achievements and electives to build strong bonds between ourselves and our Cub Scout sons. RESPECT OF FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS -
- We all like to look good in the eyes of our friends and neighbors. It is important that parents are personally invited to help by someone in their community whom they know, trust and respect. They should feel that they were selected, not recruited. BE A ROLE MODEL-
- Parents are role models for their children. Taking an active part in their son's Cub Scout program is a way of teaching boys how to make things happen. Every boys deserves to see his parents doing something important for his pack or den. COMMUNITY SERVICE -
- Most Americans expect to perform some service to their communities. Scouting offers an ideal way for busy parents to become involved in making their communities and their neighborhoods better places in which to live.
Spend time getting to know a bit more about those parents as boys join your pack. See if can discover why they want their son to be in Scouts and why they might be ready to be leaders.
PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT
Increasing parent involvement is always a challenge, you're not alone.
One successful strategy is to make a gigantic poster listing all of the Pack positions, activity chairs, and other jobs that will need to be filled throughout the year with a blank next to each. Fill in the ones where you have a volunteer ahead of time. Take the poster to your Join scouting Night meeting and tell the new parents that each is expected to take on at least one of these jobs, explaining that Cub Scouting is a family organization and must have family; e.g., parent participation. Similarly put the poster in the front of the room for your Pack Meeting and give the same encouragement. This will net a few and help with a little peer fear/pressure. Nobody likes being seen as a non contributor. Let them know that, if you don't see their names, you'll help them find something. Then the Pack's leadership can divide the missing names and follow-up with one-to-one invitations.
A great selling point, when you begin to hear excuses is to tell them that what the Cub Scout program offers is what each parent would like to give his/her child, if there was enough time and that the advantage is that we can pool resources to see that each boy gets those things. This means that you the parent have to carry your share, which is a lot less than if you were trying to do all of these things yourself. Remind them that its not fair to ask other parents to shoulder their own share and this excuse maker's as well. You may lose one or two that don't want the commitment, but would they have stayed anyway?
Another point is that there are a lot of folks that are hesitant to volunteer, especially in Hispanic communities. Some will be honored to be asked and to see your trust in them and will respond positively with encouragement. One of the best Webelos leaders I ever had sat quietly and never said a word at meetings for over a year because nobody every asked. I saw enthusiasm in his eyes and asked. A week later he came to a meeting in full uniform with every patch in the right place, brimming with ideas. He took Webelos to camp each year and never missed an activity. His den grew and had to be split twice.
While there is no best solution, consider making it a point to find the positive attributes of each parent as you get to know them and then use that as a reason you think they would be good at ________________.
Adapted from: Michael F. Bowman,
NCAC, BSA (Virginia) USSP
LEADERS' RESPONSIBILITIES
A pack is under no obligation to accept the membership of any boy whose parents are not willing to help. (read the parent agreement on the application form.) Let them know at the start that you will be asking them to help and you do expect them to say yes.
Once you start doing all the jobs yourself and blaming the parents who don't help, you are paving the way to failure. As my old SM buddy Murray told me long ago when I complained about our neighborhood pack:
"The reason that the Cub Scout pack is so bad is that loud mouthed parents like you complain instead of getting involved and doing something about it."
When you realize that the most important part of any den or pack leader's job is to get other parents involved in their sons' Cub Scouting, and then start working at that, you will have a good chance at success.
Being a good Cub Scout leader takes more than running the meetings - that's the easy part.